Friday, March 24, 2006

Dare to Be the Dream

Do you ever dream? No, I mean really dream. If so, what do you dream about? I sat down one night and put to pen some of my dreams regarding my youth ministry and youth ministry in general. Here are the resulting questions that came out of that dream session. What do I want it to be? What is it now? Where should it be going? Am I leading correctly? etc. Then, I began to think...are these dreams that I have actually lining up with my ministry? What would that look like if they did? In order for my dreams to become reality, here are twelve dreams that I would have to dream. And I would not only have to dream them, but also make them become reality. Thus, if my dreams were going to become reality, then I would have to dare to...

1. Keep the Bar High! So often in the ministry, we as pastors do not raise the bar of leadership or even keep it the same. Instead, we lower it a little so as to have bigger numbers or because we do not want to hold people accountable. Kids need leaders, and one’s that are committed.
2. Address Conflict. This is huge. I would say that a huge chunk of my time as a high school pastor is spent here. Whether it is between students and leaders, students and students, or leaders and leaders, pastors must confront! Without confrontation, your ministry will suffer.
3. Preach the Word. 2 Timothy 4:2 says “Preach the word of God.” This begs the question that there is other activities we can engage in besides preaching the Word. However, what students need most from us is not more videos (although great in their own right) or cool skits or games, but God’s Word. That is what the world simply cannot offer them.
4. Encourage (and be encouraged). 1 Thessalonians 5:11 states “So encourage each other and build each other up...” You must encourage your students and leaders! Find ways to do it, i.e. emails, notes, encouragement circles, spoken words, etc. There can be no substitute for this. Conversely, you as a pastor need to receive encouragement from others. Sometimes, we are the worse at receiving gifts, especially encouragement.
5. Network, Network, Network. Find out who the local pastors are in your area and set up a monthly meeting with them. Share ideas and frustrations, as this could and should be a safe place for both to occur. Be Proactive and connect!
6. Seek Higher Education. Both Jesus and Paul were students of the Word before they ever ministered to others. Our middle school pastor, who barely made it through high school and college, has begun his master’s now, and it’s paying off. He is currently running over 350 middle schoolers in a church of 1300. This will also help guard against burnout.
7. Take Time Off. Burnout is a ministerial pandemic in our country. I have heard as high as 1600 ministers a month opt out of the ministry! The sober reality is, when you leave your current post, there is another talent just waiting to replace you. Now, I am not saying be lazy, but force yourself to take your days off and vacations. It will pay huge dividends down the road…and your family will thank me for it.
8. Lead Up (and not just down)! Nate, our middle school pastor, hung out with Bo Boshers last year (student ministries director at Willow Creek Community Church). Bo challenged him to not only lead those under him, but to also lead his senior pastor, executive pastor, etc. when possible. Don’t be scared! Speak up and lead!
9. Practice the Presence of God. I stole this point directly from Brother Laurence’s book title, but it fits my purpose. Frequently, pastor’s are the worst at “smoking what they’re selling.” Without spending regular time in the Word and in prayer, you will not be in the ministry for long! As Pastor Dave Stone, speaking pastor at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, a church of 18,000, stated, “There is a grave danger in substituting activity for personal spiritual development.” Remember, Jesus never ran from town to town.
10. Take Risks. Fail at something! Nothing has built more character and faith in my life than when I had 2 kids sign up for my senior trip. Although there is a fear in continuing to change, you can never stop changing, as change is beneficial if it serves a purpose.
11. Receive constructive criticism. When is the last time you had a student critique your message or a leader share his/her dislikes about the ministry? A Christian leader will be criticized. As pastors, we have to realize that feedback is a gift! I have heard it said, “Maturity is moving from a thin skin and hard heart to a thick skin and a soft heart.” Evaluate criticism and see if there is truth in it, and then move on.
12. Ask for Help! Whether with your ministerial, marital, spiritual, or personal life, assistance is invaluable. However, sadly enough, we often let our pride get in the way and don’t seek help until it’s too late. Use others to sharpen you and your ministry.

So, to all those dreamers out there, keep dreaming. But don't be scared to put in the time and effort to see your dream become reality! Dare to Be the Dream!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Lessons in Losing

March Madness is here in full swing. I have my bracket already filled out and on my wall in my office. I am pumped! And when I think about college basketball this time of the year, I usually think about the winners. However, this year, I am reflecting more on the losers. I know a big factor in that was my church league basketball team. We just finished the season 2-5, last in the league. Also, I think my recent reflections on losing has a lot to do with not just sports, but also real life losing that I have been exposed to lately. I can count at least 5 persons I am connected with through friends and family members that have died, and not necessarily older individuals. This type of losing is never fun. Thus, in all my reflections, I have found a few lessons in losing.
1. Character - I truly feel that you learn more about people's character when they lose, than when they win. It was amazing for me to see some of my teammates attitudes in our church league games. There was a stark contrast with some of them during the games we lost as opposed to the games we won. I learned who were sore losers and who really owned the loss as opposed to blaming the refs or others. Aside from sports, I have seen true bonds be rekindled and built in my life and the lives of others who have lost loved ones. There have been some really impacting stories come out of these times of loss. Character was built. As an aside here, in winning connected with sports especially, I often find it produces just the character one should not have, i.e. arrogance, pride, etc. We all can point to those sports figures in the public eye here.
2. Connections - As I referred to above, unique bonds or connections are made during times of loss. Friends, cousins, and families of old are reunited and stories are told of yester year that pull everyone together. People often finally get real with each other. They share about their lives and inquire into others lives. In sports, when I lose, I find I have that desire to go again and do better next time, and often with the same guys...just to prove we can win.
3. Encouragement - Never before have I encouraged like I have recently. I encouraged friends and family when they lost someone close to them. I was there for them as much as I could. I, verbally, every minute of the game, would admonish and encourage my teammates, highlighting their positive moments. This one aspect of losing can be invaluable, and often it is not even what you say, but what you do. Just a presence can be more powerful than a spoken word.
4. Reflection - When loss occurs, many become reflective. They look back over their past and see what they have or have not done, and whether or not that is satisfactory. Frequently, I find this can be a positive when positive action results (see number 5 below). Also, if this happens spiritually, it can be a monumentous event. In my limited experience here, I find individuals, when they reflect spiritually in times of loss, either grow and draw closer to Christ, or move further away.
5. Ambition - Especially in a loss, I find that people often work harder than ever before. Now granted, some do quit. However, I know I want to work harder to do better next time. I want to change what did not work to see what will work.
Overall, I have found that there are so many lessons in losing. Winning is great. Don't get me wrong. But it is in the losses, and not my wins, that have built my character, formed new connections and relationships with others, shared encouragement, and even had me reflect and grow in my ambition. I know there are others benefits potentially, but these are ones I have found. Any other ideas?