Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Lessons in Losing

March Madness is here in full swing. I have my bracket already filled out and on my wall in my office. I am pumped! And when I think about college basketball this time of the year, I usually think about the winners. However, this year, I am reflecting more on the losers. I know a big factor in that was my church league basketball team. We just finished the season 2-5, last in the league. Also, I think my recent reflections on losing has a lot to do with not just sports, but also real life losing that I have been exposed to lately. I can count at least 5 persons I am connected with through friends and family members that have died, and not necessarily older individuals. This type of losing is never fun. Thus, in all my reflections, I have found a few lessons in losing.
1. Character - I truly feel that you learn more about people's character when they lose, than when they win. It was amazing for me to see some of my teammates attitudes in our church league games. There was a stark contrast with some of them during the games we lost as opposed to the games we won. I learned who were sore losers and who really owned the loss as opposed to blaming the refs or others. Aside from sports, I have seen true bonds be rekindled and built in my life and the lives of others who have lost loved ones. There have been some really impacting stories come out of these times of loss. Character was built. As an aside here, in winning connected with sports especially, I often find it produces just the character one should not have, i.e. arrogance, pride, etc. We all can point to those sports figures in the public eye here.
2. Connections - As I referred to above, unique bonds or connections are made during times of loss. Friends, cousins, and families of old are reunited and stories are told of yester year that pull everyone together. People often finally get real with each other. They share about their lives and inquire into others lives. In sports, when I lose, I find I have that desire to go again and do better next time, and often with the same guys...just to prove we can win.
3. Encouragement - Never before have I encouraged like I have recently. I encouraged friends and family when they lost someone close to them. I was there for them as much as I could. I, verbally, every minute of the game, would admonish and encourage my teammates, highlighting their positive moments. This one aspect of losing can be invaluable, and often it is not even what you say, but what you do. Just a presence can be more powerful than a spoken word.
4. Reflection - When loss occurs, many become reflective. They look back over their past and see what they have or have not done, and whether or not that is satisfactory. Frequently, I find this can be a positive when positive action results (see number 5 below). Also, if this happens spiritually, it can be a monumentous event. In my limited experience here, I find individuals, when they reflect spiritually in times of loss, either grow and draw closer to Christ, or move further away.
5. Ambition - Especially in a loss, I find that people often work harder than ever before. Now granted, some do quit. However, I know I want to work harder to do better next time. I want to change what did not work to see what will work.
Overall, I have found that there are so many lessons in losing. Winning is great. Don't get me wrong. But it is in the losses, and not my wins, that have built my character, formed new connections and relationships with others, shared encouragement, and even had me reflect and grow in my ambition. I know there are others benefits potentially, but these are ones I have found. Any other ideas?

7 comments:

Doug Witte said...

"Basketball is an extension of life. The way you play on the court mirrors the way you live your life."
-pete carril

Brian B said...

Dude, Douglas, love that quote man! I totally agree.

Doug Witte said...

Doesn't say much for how we live our lives after our 2-5 performance :) haha ... watch out for those demons!

Nic[H]ole said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nic[H]ole said...

I agree with the post Bri guy. I think that winning and losing bring out the real you. How you take winning, whether you rub it someone's face or tell them good game. If you lose, whether you give the other team crap talk or you congratulate them.

Winning ang losing in life can also bring out who you really are, just as you so brilliantly said in the post. You win some, you lose some, it's just all a matter of how you deal.

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