Having the last word is usually a pride thing for most people. They always "have to have the last word in edge wise." In my most recent case however, it was a little different. Having the last word was something I would have loved to defer for sure. Instead of the traditional last word, I had to say the last word(s) at a funeral. Granted, I have done several funerals since entering into full time ministry, however none like this. I never personally met the deceased man nor his family. Also, he was in his forties and committed suicide. Ouch! Lastly, he had HIV and was homosexual. So, I began to think and pray. What could I say? What should I say? In the end, I feel as though it totally worked out, and it was a God thing that I presided over the funeral proceedings. I say that because my uncle committed suicide as well. Thus, I could be honest when I told the family, "I know what you are going through."
Here is my question to you. What would you say in this situation? How would you respond? Have you ever been in this situation? What would you say if you had the ultimate responsibility of having the Last Word as God's representative to the family of a man suffering from HIV that committed suicide? What would you say about God's thoughts? Or would you say?
4 comments:
Brian.
I don't know what I would say to this family or even a peer who had just suffered this loss. It's so hard for me to see all these people committing suicide. All I know is this 1/12 students think about or attempt suicide every year, I'm part of that statistic. 2,000 students actually go thru with their plans, I was almost there. It's so common, almost numbing. Like I said I don't know what I would say. Like the whole God issue, man I struggle so much at times, who am I to say hey- ya know he's going to hell. Obviously you can't be like well you'll see him in heaven one day, tough situation.
melissa
BB-
I have had to do a siimilar funeral, in fact my first one. Only two people showed up to the funeral. While we can not say for certain if this person is in heaven or not, we do have the opportunity to share Christ with the family. This would give them certainty that when this question comes up at their funeral, everyone will know for certain that they are with Christ in heaven.
It seems that in these situations our presence as pastors can mean more than any words we say. Just a thought.
purv
Hey you 2...thanks for commenting...Melissa...you are right that it is a tough situation. I struggled with that one for sure. I finally landed like you said Purv, about sharing about the love of Christ with the family and having a presence ministry, which is huge...I just loved that I had a few family members come up to me afterwards wanting to talk more...Also, I am glad God is the ultimate judge of people and not me!
Enjoyed a lot! » »
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